An Intense Ecstasy

ME NEED BREAKTHROUGHS!

Ashley Trinity — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 15:54:58 +0000

Not just one, but many many. To rescue me from such a financial FIASCO right now.

(Yes, that’s my favourite noun recently. Like alfresco. =p)

I’m tired
I’m fat
I’m tired
I’m bored
I’m fedup
I’m sick of explaining
I’m just being nice what
I’m totally sian of you already can
I’m just oblivious to everyone else
I’m over-used and under-appreciated
I’m growing, and fatter too
I’m flying off for holiday soon! *hints Jankin*
I love events and the attas way of life
Loving you hasn’t been new, but so what? So what?! I don’t care how much I love you. I really don’t care, you know, period.
AND I’M GOING TO HAVE GREAT GREAT BREAKTHROUGHS VERY SOON! BY FAITH AND EVERYTHING ELSE!

Lalalalallalalllalaa.

I WANT TO GO EUROPE LAH! NOW NOW NOW!!! WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY AM I HERE! LET ME GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m flustered. Like a caged eagle. Grrr.
I want to cry. Because you’re keeping me here. I want to fly. I want to soar. I want to see higher and love the world!!!

Protected: &^%$#@!!@#$%^&

Ashley Trinity — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 13:15:09 +0000

PHEW.

Ashley Trinity — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 03:37:20 +0000

I’ve seen through you. Why do you have to do this? You’re sinning! You’re CONNIVING against me and everyone!

I received this text message, which scared me.

I didn’t know what happened again, and certainly don’t want to lose what I’ve painstakingly gotten back.

Then I woke up.

IT WAS A DREAM!

Phew. Okay, a dream.

But the word “conniving” was so vivid in my impression! So I looked up on the dictionary.

con·nive

[kuh-nahyv]

secretly allow (something considered immoral, illegal, wrong, or harmful) to occur;

conspire to do something immoral, illegal, or harmful.

–verb (used without object), -nived, -niv·ing.

1.	to cooperate secretly; conspire (often fol. by with): They connived to take over the business.

2.	to avoid noticing something that one is expected to oppose or condemn; give aid to wrongdoing by forbearing to act or speak (usually fol. by at): The policeman connived at traffic violations.

3.	to be indulgent toward something others oppose or criticize (usually fol. by at): to connive at childlike exaggerations.

Ok, I dreamt of a word that was not even in my own dictionary. So today, I learnt a new word. Can you believe it?

Phew. I must tell the person who sent me this in my dream! Just in case..

And no, I didn’t connive in any way. Really!

It’s all about: FAITH

Ashley Trinity — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 15:36:29 +0000

I SAW A RAINBOW TODAY!

How cool was that, right? It was rainy the whole morning; and lucky mummy drove me to church. Such a dull weather; always a spoiler on weekends.

But YAY. I saw a rainbow after the sunshine shone through the droplets of rainwater in the skies. How lovely. It has been ages since I saw one. Perhaps in Cameron Highland days I guess?

Now Jankin is telling me seeing rainbows are good signs. And YES, come to think of it!

Saturday service was great. Rev. Casey Treat can be my new idol. His message was simple yet phenomenal. And not to mention the fact that it was directed to me. Faith booster! On the car ride to church, I was still thinking how stable yet stagnant my spiritual life has been.

But his message on Faith threw me off my feet. Such a simple theory. But we all just need confirmation and reassurance. Now I’m totally refreshed by it. “By grace, through faith; faith after faith, faith after faith.”

Talking about that, I’ve got a new prayer partner! Haha. I don’t know if this person is reading this. But yeah, you got your ‘Royal Decree’ here! In black and white somemore. Ha.

3-min prayer meeting at a not-exactly-very-quiet corner of Airport Terminal 1’s staff canteen. Was short, yet so sharp. I caught myself confessing of things we really shared agreement upon! Power of confession and agreement!

Anyway, finally had time to sit down and chat with Discipler. Since so many months of leading our own busy lives. Counting the fact I missed fellowship at CGL’s place last Wednesday, due to tuition. But I got my pay and my Teacher’s Day gift!

Aiyah. So many people to meet up with, so little time to do it.

Anyway, I’m so happy because I’m back on the right path I should be and totally refreshed in the spirit. I will work on building up again and let’s continue to fly and shine!

“By Grace through FAITH! Faith after Faith, after Faith (….) after Faith after Faith!!”

Subconsciously, it tells the story.

Ashley Trinity — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 16:28:55 +0000

Why does the heart chase at the mere sight of you?

I never used to believe in telepathy; simply thought it to be a unrealistic word.

But when you surprise-appeared, immediately something inside flutters and pounces with excitement.

Despite the constant in-betweens, restrains, doubts and unbelief,

And how much I hate to admit this,

My reactions caught offhand still gave the game away.

Eyes Tear; But Hearts Cry

Ashley Trinity — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 15:53:09 +0000

Operator: Hi XXX Law Firm, may I help?

Mister: Yes, I’ve decided. I want to initiate a divorce with her.

Operator: Ok. I’ll put you on hold.

Mister: Yes please.

—

*holding line plays song*

Nothing’s gonna change my love for you
You ought know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing’s gonna change my love for you

Can someone tell me why am I melting at this?

No, tell me you didn’t catch my soft side.

Tell me you didn’t see me restraining those tears.

Do you know how it naturally comes to you that the heart is on the left?

Because you know it when you actually FEEL it inside you.

A vulnerable, needy little piece

Knocking on your flesh

Trying to say how much how much it has been

Constantly pining for that bit of security

From somewhere.

Glowing and Growing

Ashley Trinity — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 02:23:16 +0000

It’s Monday.

And no, it just happened to be blue.

I spent the entire Sunday working from home. I woke up in the noon in my pyjamas; worked till 12am midnight and went to sleep in my pyjamas too. So much so for saving water huh. When I finished at midnight I felt I just woke up 3 hours ago. =/

But tired still. And super stressed. It’s not easy; never easy. I don’t even know it’ll pay off in the near future. But I’m working very hard lor. And all things work out for the good of those who love Him right?

Hey, I’m glad my blog stats shot up again! Yays. I’ve not been blogging a lot since the end of examinations and start of my new work. No holiday for me so it’s excusable. But I wonder what’s Melody, Alexis, and the rest up to these days, since they DO have a vacation and yet not blogging.. Hmm.

Saturday service was good. Why is it so special? Because I’ve missed it for two weeks. I’m naughty, very naughty. I feel super guilty when CGL asked for morning prayer meetings attendance. But I’m glad to once again get back to where I belong, and receive the anointing from Rev. Alex Abraham.

My rhema word; so clear. The impression vividly stamped on my heart.

“I AM FOR YOU DOING ___________.”

Shan’t tell you what I was called to do.

The comic above is cute right. Me shine only with You!

“I AM FOR YOU GOING TO EUROPE.”

Haha. I wish…

Time to time (myself)

Ashley Trinity — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 18:42:35 +0000

I’m feeling pretty yellow!

I never thought colours could appeal to the emotional senses too. Because yellow has just brightened my day, or night. (2.30am)

Most of these pictures are from Italy, Tuscany. A paradise on Earth, I must say.

I want to run on a field like this… singing…

Country road.. Take me home.. To a place.. I belong..

Yellow really made my day.

Since young, having such a strong flair for colours has been such a gift. Well, Jasmine recognised that. I’m thankful for such a beautiful world, but most importantly, a sight to be able to appreciate that.

While googling for yellow landscapes, I found out, coincidentally these images were from Italy. Like, Europe. Grarghhhh. I miss it so much. And I’m perfectly not in the whiny mood. I’m convicted, that the first time to Europe will lead to many many many countless looonnnnnggg trips back there.

Ha. Power of Confession.

I’ve been working really hard these few days, even after examinations. I’m not even sleeping enough. The start of IBP gave me a new commitment, and I will want to achieve what I want to get from it. I’m holding hope. I’m still clutching tightly to hopes.

I can almost see my dream ahead. It’s going to be so within grasp. I’m gonna make it there, I promise myself. I owe myself too much, and owe the One whom have given so much for my sake. I need to work hard. I’m very clear about my compelling reasons to do so.

The only thing that’s weighing down is Time. Grr. Since forever, I’ve been fighting with Time. Great, now with my new COMMITMENTS, meaning a lot, I’m going head-on with my greatest enemy.

I want to do a lot of things. I want to learn a lot of things. But Time isn’t allowing me. Nevertheless, I will try. With 24 hours a day, I want it to be more fruitful than any one else. Because of A CONVICTION.

I WILL WORK HARD!

I will fight for the place I’m ordained to be.

Rhema word: IF GOD IS FOR ME, WHO CAN BE AGAINST ME?

It’s all the matter of Timing; according to Rev. C. Peter Wagner.

I’ve always liked reassurance, security, emotional messages.

But for the very first time, I actually miss those marketplace messages from Eng Han..

Stay with me; I want You to witness this with me.. Will never let go of Your hand.

(Know what? I feel so convicted in my heart that I really feel like crying.)

Protected: Over and over again

Ashley Trinity — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 16:36:06 +0000

Update

Ashley Trinity — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 16:22:56 +0000

Things are more messed up than ever. I thought exams to be the worst; but I haven’t seen now. Let me get emotionally and physically recharged first. I was uttering practically rubbish; things that I never would ever say in a sane mind, things that I’d never ever think about. I hope things get better. Please keep me in your prayers.

Dearest milkmilk, thank you for your company. It always helped. You’re very cute; having you constantly around is better than 10 chocolate cakes/intense ecstasy. Love love.

I will work EXTRA hard for my conviction. To prove everyone wrong. Give me time and peace. I want to make it. For my dream, for my conviction, for my covenant. I’m expecting a lot from myself. I need to work very very hard.

Sorry Jesus, I’m blaming everything on you and what I was called to do. I was being foolish; utterly stupid. You know how serious my blame can get. Although I seriously don’t know what you’re thinking, I should know this will be good for me. How can I ever say/think that way? I am sorry. Forgive me. (I hope your palm can stop hurting from a newly punched-in nail).

Give me faith to walk on water; and to commerce on what seems more like walking on water now. I realized, I shouldn’t have a choice. My choice is for you to make my choice.

It-shalt-not-be-named

Ashley Trinity — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 15:37:37 +0000

I just discovered something. A forbidden two-word phrase I shall abstain from from today onwards. Mark my words. Whack me if I ever say that.

“STAY COOL.”

Do you know how it backfires, like a THOUSAND times? I can’t believe my luck. For NO VALID REASON AT ALL I will go and say this to myself, for NOTHING. At the end, SOMETHING will happen, and it JUST happens I cannot do as it says lor. Two times already, or maybe more.

Wth?

Oh ya, remember Mrs J. Quek ever told me this when I was P6.

“To ASSUME,

is to make an ASS out of yoU and Me.”

After six years and many months then I understand. Never mind, it’s never too late. Some people never ever understand. *smacks forehead*

I think,…

Ashley Trinity — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 15:20:29 +0000

It would be much easier to think how to succeed; than to think how NOT to succeed.

Convicted? Ambitious? Optimistic? Over confident?

-shrugs-

What do you all think? Tell me about it.

Not sure, but I’m pretty excited about the future though! The curiosity, and uncertainties are overwhelming in this love-hate relationship.

Aiyah, can I just take ALL my dreams and put into action? Like, ALL of them combine?

Throw me ideas! Make me think! There is no time to lose! Where is that ONE person that He spoke to me about?

Hi there Mr/Ms, time to appear now.

“Just that ONE person to take you up to the place I want you to be…”

080808

Ashley Trinity — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 16:01:53 +0000

P.S. Sorry.

Actually I know, just that didn’t think that much (for both issues), but since you cared enough to say that, I’m sorry for that. And I’m saying sorry to YOU, though you said I don’t have to. Because I know where you’re coming from, that’s why I will not want to do this again. I mean it when I say I’m sorry.

————————————————————————————————————————————

I usually don’t suggest suppers. But it was the day of the century.

Me: Aiyah, once in a while supper. Besides, today is a lovely date. 100 years only got one time leh. Must celebrate.

The visit to Denise The Wine Shop was fine. I would score equally well for Brand Critique if I did on Denise’s. Still, I think it is a really well done-up business venture. A very successful one. It’s going to be quite tough I reckon. I will need more information, a lot of information, research and help, if I want to do this. I’m thinking if I should… Well I’ll think about it. I wish I could consult someone on this.

Today is 7th of JULY

Ashley Trinity — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 08:20:43 +0000

-a super long post which took me two days-

7th of July August 2008

T is for Thursday and for, TRINITY!

Me went out for the whole of Thursday, which turned out to be quite exciting. As I told caro, my fun is just the “calm weather before the storm”. Aiyah, I’m going one day at a time now.

Timetable for Thursday

1215-1400: BSG @ Raffles Place

1400-1600: Lunch at Paradiz

1600-1830: Shopping at Plaza Singapura

1830-2330: Office

So fruitful right. I’m so organised. =]

We went to Italy and Venice too!!!

Ok, that flashlight gave the game away.

But nice right. And I was saying how much I couldn’t believe I missed Venice. Not miss as in I-miss-you kind of miss, but really MISSED it kind of miss lor. Darn, now I can tell the whole world ‘proudly’ that I went to Venice, but never toured it (except getting lost) and NO PICTURES OF IT AT ALL!!!

*swallows the overwhelming indignation that’s killing me*

I can’t believe myself lor. While the rest were taking photos and touring the rivers of Venice and looking at the possible evidence of its sinking status, I was having breakfast in bed, drinking orange juice and eating cup noodles. Eating still never mind, but after that I was puking them all out again. GRRRR!

*proceeds to bang revolving glass door twice and thrice, twice and thrice more*

Back to Thursday’s topic. We ate at this place called JuJu Steamboat at Paradiz Centre.

Very nice ah. But GIGANTIC serving please.

The Chicken Platter

With the ma-la soup. (Which was super hot though they claimed it to be mild)

The Seafood Platter

See, I told you it was enormous. With crap crab somemore.

Camwhoring session starts, but too gan chiong take down camera.

Once again, I proved my point. I put VERY NICE pictures here ok!

Settled the bill with that precious signature. It’s a love-hate relationship. You won’t understand.

My favourite picture of the day.
I blurred it on purpose. Sometimes, something unclear tells the clearest story about something.

Ok, me and my philosophies.

At the station to Dhoby Ghaut

Yup, actually there is more. Went to get dye from Spotlight at PS to retrieve the colour of a shirt that was accidentally bleached. Bah. And the shirt is very precious one lor, hor.

I was vlogging throughout the shopping trip and boy was it hilarious! But hor, I’m hesitating on whether I should put it up here.
First, because what you see don’t often mean what it is, and what you do not see doesn’t mean it is not. Haha. Secondly, I scared ah. Although I am FILLED WITH CONVICTION that I will fulfill it, still the whole world don’t have to know la. I will scared one. Thirdly, I HAVE AN IMAGE TO MAINTAIN. Thank you very much hor.

Oh, found this back-dated photo.

Usher at Festival of Praise last Friday

Ashley Ng, no more pictorial blog entries for me till very long I tell you! I wasted two whole days on this. Darn.

Such Optimism

Ashley Trinity — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 16:55:20 +0000

Her: So tell me first where you going to give a treat.

Me: Tell me what’s the occasion first.

Her: Celebrate birthday lah!

Me: WHAT? Whose birthday?

Her: Our birthday. Your birthday, my birthday. We can celebrate our birthday everyday that we are still living, right?

Me: Oh. HOW CUTE!!!

Ok then, happy birthday to us. lala la la lala.

You and your classic cuteness.

我们这一班

Ashley Trinity — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 09:26:13 +0000

因为昨天是 Presentation in Chinese 圆满落幕的一天。好不舍哦。想不到，在这个讨厌到入骨的第三学年里，我竟会为一个科目而觉得不舍呀。真是个奇迹。所以啊，当然是要用华语来写说今天部落格的篇章呀！

唉。正所谓，天底下无不散之宴席。十六星期以来，我从没后悔选了当 PresChi 班上十三名学生里的其中一名。也为了它，竟让我做出个大牺牲。每晚7到9点，你以为很容易啊？也因此这样，现在也无怨无悔。因为，最享受上华文课的时间，也很怀念用华文交谈。在理工学院三年了，竟也有三年没好好用华语来交谈、写字，结果我的华文程度也一定会退步。说还是会说啦，只是写的当儿要查字典而已咯！

它令我想起在南侨的快乐时光，也钩起了童年上 TCS 华文小演员训练班的时候。当时的情景一样，班上都是小小童声朗读着，“bo, po, mo, fo, ge, ke, ne, le, ji, chi, xi…”

话不多说。就让照片正式登场吧！

我们这超酷超眩的一班

少了四名同学

华语 COOL!

我和韻旋同学

（从左到右）摇一山、煮迟仁、泻碗玉

为我们的 IDEA 欢呼！成功！

郭老师

谢谢老师送我每次送我回半路。不然，昨天一定重死我了。哦，当我的茶庄或酒窖开幕时，一定不会忘记老师的！

就这样。16个星期就过去了！我会想念华语课、成语、音调、音准、韵母、声调、字典、翻译、。。。而当干杯和欢呼声落幕时，I will still love Chinese, don’t worry. *in an extreme British accent*

哈哈。:D

这时候，一定要来回味一下！我的《再别康桥》！

轻轻的我走了，正如我轻轻的来；
我轻轻的招手，作别西天的云彩。

那河畔的金柳，是夕阳中的新娘；
波光里的艳影，在我的心头荡漾。

软泥上的青荇，油油的在水底招摇；
在康河的柔波里，我甘心做一条水草！

那榆荫下的一潭，不是清泉，
是天上虹揉碎在浮藻间，沉淀着彩虹似的梦。

寻梦？撑一支长篙，向青草更青处漫溯，
满载一船星辉，在星辉斑斓里放歌。

但我不能放歌，悄悄是别离的笙箫；
夏虫也为我沉默，沉默是今晚的康桥。

悄悄的我走了，正如我悄悄的来；
我挥一挥衣袖，不带走一片云彩。

－－－徐志摩

各位，再会吧！;)

黄诗惠上

Thanks, but..

Ashley Trinity — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 14:28:31 +0000

What a severe irony; how my blog is called An Intense Ecstasy, yet its author is often caught in a un-cheerupable situation, and is currently nowhere near the state of ecstasy.

Oh my 天, how now?

(P.S. Thanks to some who tried to cheer/distract/talk to me, or even asking me to snap out of this. Thank you, I really appreciate it. Please still be there for me. I desperately need it.)

What do I need?

Ashley Trinity — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 11:43:37 +0000

Life’s meaningless.

Jænkin says: Why be bothered by them
Jænkin says: They juz make u sad and angry
Jænkin says: Dun u juz wan to pursue happiness?
A s h l e y Trinity says: From?
Jænkin says: I dunno
Jænkin says: Everyone has different kinds of happiness
Jænkin says: Like a child is happy to have candy etc
Jænkin says: Why should u be the one who suffer and drown urself in the sea of emotion???
Jænkin says: Might as well be happy
Jænkin says: U need a hug from someone
A s h l e y Trinity says: But is impossible.
A s h l e y Trinity says: So let’s not talk about impossibles.
Jænkin says: impossible = i m possible

Thanks, Jankin. But life is still meaningless to me. A constant pursuit-chasing after the wind.. For who for what am I toiling all these days for? Meaningless. Friendlessness. You can all forsake me now; I won’t care. Just like how you didn’t care.

A Meaningless Pursuit after the Wind

Ashley Trinity — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 15:13:23 +0000

To The Ones I Shared Friendship/Fellowship/Discipleship With,

I write this letter with utmost sincerity and politeness, not lacking in any due respect for everyone I intend to address today.

First, thank you all for your efforts and all that you have put in, big or small, given your all or none. But I am very sorry to say, I don’t feel it, my dear fair-weathered friends. It is upon my deepest regret that I end up having to say this.

What I have been hearing is this: “no, you should this..”, “why did you do that?”, “in the first place you shouldn’t have..”, “this is correct”, “that is wrong of you”, I should have this, I should have that. Dear friends, I want to tell you that I have had enough. So what if I am spiritual? You want memory verses? Here goes:

Ecclesiastes 4

Oppression, Toil, Friendlessness

7 Again I saw something meaningless under the sun:

8 There was a man all alone;
he had neither son nor brother.
There was no end to his toil,
yet his eyes were not content with his wealth.
“For whom am I toiling,” he asked,
“and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?”
This too is meaningless—
a miserable business!

9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:

10 If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!

11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?

12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Yes, it’s super meaningless. So what if I memorise the entire Bible? Solomon was right. For whom am I doing this for? Who can I share this with? Look where all my testimonies are going. To the air. Or with someone you tell the whole story with the most enthusiasm and what you get is an “ok?” or “maybe you should tell someone else”. I tell you, I cannot take this anymore.

I don’t understand. And I don’t understand why all my good friends are on opposite sides. If I take on the right side, I lose the left, and vice versa. I don’t understand. For my own good right? You claimed. I don’t see what good there is. You want to condemn me now? Go ahead. But that does not change the impression I have on all of you.

You all only thought for yourselves, and you claimed it to be for my good. Is it? You only told me where I ought to belong, where I should belong, where I must belong, and try to get me to the place you think I really belong. But may I remind you that I am not a commodity? Thank you very much. Did you really ask me where I wanted to belong?

Sometimes I just thought of having someone to cry to; someone that I don’t need to put a happy facade in front, and just be myself- broken and all. Someone who will not tell me what is right what is wrong, but lend a shoulder/listening ear, and one I need not be guarded against. But tonight I realized, a crying friend is never among you all.

Maybe it’s just me feeling convicted by Reverend Mark Conner last night. Peace, Encouragement, Comfort, Fear of the Lord.

What is the good example you have set for me? When you like, you push me to this. When you don’t like, you ask me to go to that. Why are you pushing me around? Have you ever thought in my shoes what I need most at this time?

If God created this world only for the relationship between Him and us, then fair enough. But the very spiritual you jolly well know that it is never the case. I’m disappointed in all of you, not that I even have a high expectation on you in the first place. At least I thought you could treat me like a human. Is that a lot to expect?

Sometimes, I don’t just want to know what is right and what is wrong. At least let me know I’m not doing this alone as a lone ranger in this physical realm. Do you ever understand?

/A small note to add to Someone, IF YOU are still doubting at this juncture of time, IF YOU still don’t feel it, IF YOU’re still lingering over the past, IF YOU still think that you are least important, IF YOU still want to condemn me like all the rest of the people do, let me know. At least I know I’ve done enough, pretty much enough, because I no longer know what I can do to satisfy you. I did all I can, didn’t I? I did try to let you know and remember it, didn’t I? But did you once realize by that you’re touching into a raw part of me that carried a lot of hurt every time you talk about that? And you know I don’t want to be reminded of it again./

Anyway all, after reading this, you can all start condemning me. If you think you hadn’t, maybe I have not said, but this is the me that I see in you. Forget it. It’s okay. I know all of you don’t care; I am used to being discussed behind. I dislike the way how I’m watched constantly by the people around me. It’s ok if you only watch, but watch->see->talk->perceive->interpret->conclude. Am I right? How to be comfortable with that?

The rationale behind writing this is not to improve the situation (as if it’d work), but just to relieve myself of the physical/spiritual/emotion agony that you all are putting me through right now. If you think I am really happy and you really think you know me well, I’d suggest you think again.

Sorry if I may seem insolent or imprudent in the tone, this is yet only my heartfelt thoughts. Be rest assured my due respect is still in all of you.

Thank you very much.

Yours truly,

Ashley Trinity

Rhema word

Ashley Trinity — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 17:36:51 +0000

Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything

1 For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
2 A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
6 A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.

-Solomon

It’s a shame. What an utter shame. How I always fail to do the right things at the right time.

Despite the fact many are happy with my progress, I’m awfully disappointed with my conduct lately.

I need to seek the wisdom and understanding once more. I feel my own condemnation against myself and I think I’m backsliding already!