ME NEED BREAKTHROUGHS!

Not just one, but many many. To rescue me from such a financial FIASCO right now.

(Yes, that’s my favourite noun recently. Like alfresco. =p)

• I’m tired
• I’m fat
• I’m tired
• I’m bored
• I’m fedup
• I’m sick of explaining
• I’m just being nice what
• I’m totally sian of you already can
• I’m just oblivious to everyone else
• I’m over-used and under-appreciated
• I’m growing, and fatter too
• I’m flying off for holiday soon! *hints Jankin*
• I love events and the attas way of life
• Loving you hasn’t been new, but so what? So what?! I don’t care how much I love you. I really don’t care, you know, period.
• AND I’M GOING TO HAVE GREAT GREAT BREAKTHROUGHS VERY SOON! BY FAITH AND EVERYTHING ELSE!

Lalalalallalalllalaa.

• I WANT TO GO EUROPE LAH! NOW NOW NOW!!! WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY AM I HERE! LET ME GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  
• I’m flustered. Like a caged eagle. Grrr.
• I want to cry. Because you’re keeping me here. I want to fly. I want to soar. I want to see higher and love the world!!!

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PHEW.

I’ve seen through you. Why do you have to do this? You’re sinning! You’re CONNIVING against me and everyone!

I received this text message, which scared me.

I didn’t know what happened again, and certainly don’t want to lose what I’ve painstakingly gotten back.

It’s all about: FAITH

I SAW A RAINBOW TODAY!

Subconsciously, it tells the story.

Why does the heart chase at the mere sight of you?

I never used to believe in telepathy; simply thought it to be a unrealistic word.

But when you surprise-appeared, immediately something inside flutters and pounces with excitement.

Despite the constant in-betweens, restrains, doubts and unbelief,

And how much I hate to admit this,

My reactions caught offhand still gave the game away.

Eyes Tear; But Hearts Cry

Operator: Hi XXX Law Firm, may I help?

Mister: Yes, I’ve decided. I want to initiate a divorce with her.

Operator: Ok. I’ll put you on hold.

Mister: Yes please.

—

*holding line plays song*

Nothing’s gonna change my love for you
You ought know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing’s gonna change my love for you

Glowing and Growing

It’s Monday.

Time to time (myself)

I’m feeling pretty yellow!

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Update

Things are more messed up than ever. I thought exams to be the worst; but I haven’t seen now. Let me get emotionally and physically recharged first. I was uttering practically rubbish; things that I never would ever say in a sane mind, things that I’d never ever think about. I hope things get better. Please keep me in your prayers.

Dearest milkmilk, thank you for your company. It always helped. You’re very cute; having you constantly around is better than 10 chocolate cakes/intense ecstasy. Love love.

I will work EXTRA hard for my conviction. To prove everyone wrong. Give me time and peace. I want to make it. For my dream, for my conviction, for my covenant. I’m expecting a lot from myself. I need to work very very hard.

Sorry Jesus, I’m blaming everything on you and what I was called to do. I was being foolish; utterly stupid. You know how serious my blame can get. Although I seriously don’t know what you’re thinking, I should know this will be good for me. How can I ever say/think that way? I am sorry. Forgive me. (I hope your palm can stop hurting from a newly punched-in nail).

Give me faith to walk on water; and to commerce on what seems more like walking on water now. I realized, I shouldn’t have a choice. My choice is for you to make my choice.

It-shalt-not-be-named

I just discovered something. A forbidden two-word phrase I shall abstain from from today onwards. Mark my words. Whack me if I ever say that.

“STAY COOL.”

Do you know how it backfires, like a THOUSAND times? I can’t believe my luck. For NO VALID REASON AT ALL I will go and say this to myself, for NOTHING. At the end, SOMETHING will happen, and it JUST happens I cannot do as it says lor. Two times already, or maybe more.

Wth?

Oh ya, remember Mrs J. Quek ever told me this when I was P6.

“To ASSUME,

is to make an ASS out of yoU and Me.”

After six years and many months then I understand. Never mind, it’s never too late. Some people never ever understand. *smacks forehead*

I think,…

It would be much easier to think how to succeed; than to think how NOT to succeed.

080808

P.S. Sorry.

Actually I know, just that didn’t think that much (for both issues), but since you cared enough to say that, I’m sorry for that. And I’m saying sorry to YOU, though you said I don’t have to. Because I know where you’re coming from, that’s why I will not want to do this again. I mean it when I say I’m sorry.

Today is 7th of JULY

-a super long post which took me two days-

7th of July August 2008

T is for Thursday and for, TRINITY!

Such Optimism

Her: So tell me first where you going to give a treat.

Me: Tell me what’s the occasion first.

Her: Celebrate birthday lah!

Me: WHAT? Whose birthday?

Her: Our birthday. Your birthday, my birthday. We can celebrate our birthday everyday that we are still living, right?

Me: Oh. HOW CUTE!!!

Ok then, happy birthday to us. lala la la lala.

You and your classic cuteness.

我 们 这 一 班

因为昨天是 Presentation in Chinese 圆满落幕的一天。好不舍哦。想不到，在这个讨厌到入骨的第三学年里，我竟会为一个科目而觉得不舍呀。真是个奇迹。所以啊，当然是要用华语来写说今天部落格的篇章呀！

唉。正所谓，天底下无不散之宴席。十六星期以来，我从没后悔选了当 PresChi 班上十三名学生里的其中一名。也为了它，竟让我做出个大牺牲。每晚7到9点，你以为很容易啊？也因此这样，现在也无怨无悔。因为，最享受上华文课的时间，也很怀念用华文交谈。在理工学院三年了，竟也有三年没好好用华语来交谈、写字，结果我的华文程度也一定会退步。说还是会说啦，只是写的当儿要查字典而已咯！

它令我想起在南侨的快乐时光，也钩起了童年上 TCS 华文小演员训练班的时候。当时的情景一样，班上都是小小童声朗读着，“bo, po, mo, fo, ge, ke, ne, le, ji, chi, xi…”

话不多说。就让照片正式登场吧！

我们这超酷超眩的一班

少了四名同学

华语 COOL!

我和韻旋同学

（从左到右）摇一山、煮迟仁、泻碗玉

为我们的 IDEA 欢呼！成功！

郭老师

谢谢老师送我每次送我回半路。不然，昨天一定重死我了。哦，当我的茶庄或酒窖开幕时，一定不会忘记老师的！

就这样。16个星期就过去了！我会想念华语课、成语、音调、音准、韵母、声调、字典、翻译、。。。而当干杯和欢呼声落幕时，I will still love Chinese, don’t worry. *in an extreme British accent*

哈哈。:D

这时候，一定要来回味一下！我的《再别康桥》！

轻轻的我走了，正如我轻轻的来；
我轻轻的招手，作别西天的云彩。

那河畔的金柳，是夕阳中的新娘；
波光里的艳影，在我的心头荡漾。

软泥上的青荇，油油的在水底招摇；
在康河的柔波里，我甘心做一条水草！

那榆荫下的一潭，不是清泉，
是天上虹揉碎在浮藻间，沉淀着彩虹似的梦。

寻梦？撑一支长篙，向青草更青处漫溯，
满载一船星辉，在星辉斑斓里放歌。

但我不能放歌，悄悄是别离的笙箫；
夏虫也为我沉默，沉默是今晚的康桥。

悄悄的我走了，正如我悄悄的来；
我挥一挥衣袖，不带走一片云彩。

－－－徐志摩

各位，再会吧！;)

黄诗惠 上

Thanks, but..

What a severe irony; how my blog is called An Intense Ecstasy, yet its author is often caught in a un-cheerupable situation, and is currently nowhere near the state of ecstasy.

Oh my 天, how now?

(P.S. Thanks to some who tried to cheer/distract/talk to me, or even asking me to snap out of this. Thank you, I really appreciate it. Please still be there for me. I desperately need it.)

What do I need?

Life’s meaningless.

Jænkin says: Why be bothered by them
Jænkin says: They juz make u sad and angry
Jænkin says: Dun u juz wan to pursue happiness?
A s h l e y Trinity says: From?
Jænkin says: I dunno
Jænkin says: Everyone has different kinds of happiness
Jænkin says: Like a child is happy to have candy etc
Jænkin says: Why should u be the one who suffer and drown urself in the sea of emotion???
Jænkin says: Might as well be happy
Jænkin says: U need a hug from someone
A s h l e y Trinity says: But is impossible.
A s h l e y Trinity says: So let’s not talk about impossibles.
Jænkin says: impossible = i m possible

Thanks, Jankin. But life is still meaningless to me. A constant pursuit-chasing after the wind.. For who for what am I toiling all these days for? Meaningless. Friendlessness. You can all forsake me now; I won’t care. Just like how you didn’t care.

A Meaningless Pursuit after the Wind

To The Ones I Shared Friendship/Fellowship/Discipleship With,

Rhema word

Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything

1 For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
2 A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
6 A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.

-Solomon

It’s a shame. What an utter shame. How I always fail to do the right things at the right time.

Despite the fact many are happy with my progress, I’m awfully disappointed with my conduct lately.

I need to seek the wisdom and understanding once more. I feel my own condemnation against myself and I think I’m backsliding already!